Superiority Complex – Do You Have It? • 07.06.09
Having a superiority complex is an exaggerated sense of being better than other people. It can be easy for parents to develop a superiority complex over children since kids are considered less likely to understand what is best for them. We, their parents, in all our practical wisdom certainly know what’s good for them, or do we?
We are adults, after all; our kids need to understand that we are in charge! Well, kids are people too. We are no better than they are. We are, most importantly, their guideposts and backstops. Acting in a superior fashion with such statements as “Don’t you dare talk to me that way;” “Go to your room, this instant”; “How many times do I have to tell you”; is a telltale sign of superiority. We might as well be saying “I’m better than you are so you better listen.” “Paraphrasing “The Effective Parent”, kids of “superior” parents may be living an emotional contradiction; feeling inadequate yet believing they are better than others. They are more than likely, learning self-pity.
Society has conditioned us to believe we need to assert our parental authority; otherwise our kids will go bananas. Well, asserting parental authority and demonstrating a sense of superiority are not one in the same. We can assert our parental authority with an approach that builds self worth without supposing we are better than our kids.
- “Talk to me in a way you deserve a response from me.”
- “It’s okay to make mistakes…it’s not okay to keep making them.”
- “Let’s talk about it and see what we can work out.”
- “I’m disappointed in what you chose to do, but I still love you.”
- “Let’s compromise so we can both get what we want.”
Be modest. A lot was accomplished before we and our kids were born. Hugs!
