Indy Parent Help Blog

Happy New Year! Sets the stage for all of us to look both forward and reflect on years past.  My focus today is to define those things we must learn to live by in the “now”.  Leo Tolstoy writes “Do not do anything, either among others or alone, which is opposed by your conscience.” Most of my articles have addressed the people we are and the people we want our children to become. A friend sent me an email of four things we cannot recover which, I feel, fit in appropriately with having a Happy New Year!.  Four things we cannot recover are:

The stone…….after the throw!

The word…….after it is said!

The occasion……after the loss!

The time…….after it is gone!

Going forward into the New Year and beyond, remembering what we cannot recover, especially with our children, gives us plenty to contemplate and aspire to.  My interpretation of the four non-recoverable aspects of our lives as it pertains to our families are:

The stone, once thrown, symbolizes today with our children, make the best of what we don’t get back.

The word, once said, needs to be a kind and good word for our children to perpetuate.

The occasion, after the loss, represents those times we need help in deciding ‘should I or shouldn’t I go.”

The time, after it’s gone, helps us realize our time well spent is time with family- establishing cohesion and connection.

Following our conscience  and being aware of the four things we cannot recover, dilutes our feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, fearful or doubtful, opening every door of opportunity empowering us to empower our children to follow their conscience.  When we practice just one of these unrecoverable acts one at a time per week, until, by osmosis, they become integral parts of our lives, we will accomplish the Happiest of New Year’s.  From the Kapsalis and Miller families, we send you Hugs and Happy New Year Blessings!

Spirituality is universal and lives within each of our heart.  Religions are territorial.   I’ve come to realize that religion is our teacher; how we live out our religion is our spirituality.  One definition of religion is to become a believer or join a religious organization, and, usually, start to lead a life that follows its teachings.  There’s nothing in the definition of religion that distinguishes our spirit (somebody or something that is a divine, inspiring, or animating influence).  It moves my spirit to recognize that we are one Universe connected through our heart. Our divine influence blessed us with a heart.  An organ that none of us could exist without, therefore a divine spiritual connection for all of us to share.    We are one Universe.  We are one spirit. The wonderment of all of our spiritual holidays begins with the love within us, from our first heartbeat.

We are taught a religion but without a heartbeat we cannot learn. We choose to live a religious life but without a heart we cannot choose.  It is not the intention of our divine influences to divide us, cause wars, pit one religion over another.  It is, as I believe, the intent to live amongst one another in peace, teaching our children to believe there comes a greater good from our spiritual influences and that fighting the forces of evil (notice the word evil in devil) as we know exists, is to place spirituality at a higher level for goodness to prevail.

In wishing you a Merry Christmas, I am sharing my heart and my spirit of peace and love with you above and beyond what my religion has taught me.  I believe we are of one God, one Universe, one heart, one spirit for justice, peace, freedom and love.  May your heart reflect the love, peace and joy of your religious teachings during this spiritual season and throughout the New Year! Merry Christmas!

 Hugs!

I’m the youngest of 8 children born to immigrant parents.  We lived in a four room apartment complex in Chicago, Illinois; the apartment I was born in. 

Growing up in my family was not about how little or how much we had.  It was about what we were taught to value.    We devoted our lives to God, Country and Family.  We learned to value our reputation through honor, honesty, loyalty, humility and morality.  We learned how to persevere when faced with adverse conditions.   We learned to support each other, our friends and our neighbors.  We believed we were decent people because we were appreciated and we appreciated others.   Did we make mistakes? Plenty!  Did we own up to our mistakes?  We had no choice.  Our consequences were how our mistakes de-valued us.  That hurt more than any punishment my parents could have bestowed on us. 

What makes this significant is that I don’t believe my Mom or Dad knew they were teaching us these values.  They simply lived by them and held us accountable to them; if I came home and told my mom “I hate my friend Judy” by mom would ask me to describe how being ‘hateful’ made me feel?  I also don’t believe I knew I was learning these values until I became a parent, hopefully perpetuating these values on my own children.

Today, when we strive to give our children better lives than what we had we must consider whether or not we are living by the values we want them to learn.  Circumstances, environments, technology, education and events can put us in a constant state of flux while the one real constant in our life and our children’s life, is a life with value.   The old saying “The more things change, the more they stay the same” is worth reflecting on.  Values don’t change.  They merely call on us to live by them so that our children can have more of the same.  Hugs!