Your imagination is the preview to life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
Imagine your child at age 21 as a kind & decent person, a person choosing to conform to accepted standards of moral behavior as an adult and future parent. Imagine establishing a parent plan early on as an opportunity to see a preview of your child’s life as an adult. (more…)
Manners are a social behavior and as stated here many times in family matters…behaviors are taught by us and learned by our kids. According to most of my clients, one of the most annoying kid bad manners behaviors is the bad manners of perpetual interruptions. You know what I’m talking about don’t you? You’re on the phone and your kids demand instant attention; you’re entertaining friends and your kids are constantly poking you until they get your attention; you’re concentrating on paying the bills when you are interrupted with ‘Mom, have you seen my (whatever)?
We’re treated as though what we are doing is not nearly as important as what our kids have to tell us. Dutifully, we often stop what we are doing to answer their call. Probably not with the best attitude and most of all annoyed with not knowing how to handle the interruption without hurting the child’s feelings. Keep in mind that kids, for the most part, are very self-centered. Their time is their time and our time is their time, too!
Hopefully, the following suggestions will help.
1. Avoid interrupting your children. Ask yourself if your question, request or concern can wait until there is a timely pause in what they are doing. (You will be teaching your children to respect your time and that manners matter).
2. Ask for permission before interrupting your children. Example: When is a good time for me to get your attention? (You will be teaching your children to ask permission before interrupting you, and that tugging at your clothing is bad manners.)
3.Before doing anything that requires uninterrupted time, explain to the children what you will be doing and for them to store up their questions, concerns or needs until you become available. Make sure you don’t abuse the uninterrupted time and make sure you follow through with your availability. (You will be teaching your children that patience and credibility is minding their manners). Hugs!
RUMOR, HEARSAY, TATTLETALE, SCANDAL, CHITCHAT……..these are just a few words used when describing GOSSIP. One of my teen-age granddaughters considers this a prevalent problem among her girlfriends. We’ve either been a part of some gossip or, at the very least, have been around people who use gossip as a means of demonstrating a superiority complex. I dare say this is not a new problem but it is a problem worth discussing. As in most cases, educating ourselves about how our children are treating others and being treated begins with awareness.
When I hear gossip, my first thought is “how is knowing this going to help me be a friend to the person being talked about?” Almost always, the gossiper is talking behind that person’s back. More often than not, the message being given is not of a positive nature. My second thought is “what is this gossip going to accomplish?” The answer to my thoughts is..”NOTHING is being gained unless you consider hurting someone’s feelings as gainful.
My recommendation to my granddaughter and her girlfriends is that, unless there is clear and present danger in what is being gossiped or if what is being said is factually true (in which case it isn’t gossip) she stand her ground and ask ‘what are you trying to accomplish by spreading these rumors?” or “what purpose does this gossip serve?” More than likely she will be frowned upon by her peers in the short term, but the long term character development benefits to her are immeasurable.
If you find yourself spreading gossip, ask yourself “what is it I’m trying to accomplish by spreading this”; and “what purpose is this serving?” If we find our children (boys included) telling tales about other kids, parents, or teachers, it is paramount that we do not get pulled into their emotional instability and remind them that gossip and rumors are, most likely, intended to do harm to another person. Is that their intent? Hugs!
