Indy Parent Help Blog

According to research done by the American Academy of Pediatrics (Caring for your School-Age Child: ages 5 – 12) temperament, for the most part, is an innate quality of the child, consistent into adulthood. According to studies by Thomas and Chase there are, at least, nine major characteristics that make up temperament.   Do you recognize your child’s temperament?

• Activity level-The amount of physical motion in your child’s behavior (e.g. during sleep, eating, play, dressing, bathing, etc). i.e. running to get where he/she wants to go.
• Adaptability-the degree of ease or difficulty your child adjusts to change or a new situation.  .
• Approach or Withdrawal: the way your child initially responds to new situations-people, events, places, toys, foods, etc.  i.e. rapid and bold (outgoing) or slow and hesitant(shy).
• Distractibility: the level of distress your child experiences when asked to work for long periods or beyond his/her capabilities.
• Threshold of Responsiveness-the amount of stimulation (e.g. sounds, light, taste, smell or feel) required to evoke an inexplicable response
• Intensity of Reaction: the energy level with which your child responds to a situation (whether negative or positive)-
• Quality of Mood-The extent of positive or negative emotion (mood) in various situations
• Attention Span/ Persistence-the length of time during which your child pursues a particular activity (attention span) and the ability to continue the activity in the face of distractions (persistence).
• Regularity (rhythmicity)-The regularity of physiologic functions (sleep, hunger and elimination).  i.e. Your child spontaneously wakes up at the usual time on weekends and holidays.

These innate characteristics have little to do with your own parenting skills but by being aware of them, you can better understand and appreciate your child’s uniqueness and deal with problems of poor ‘fit’ that may lead to misunderstandings  and conflicts at home, at school or at play. The behavioral adjustment of a school-age child depends a lot on the interaction between his/her temperament and yours. www.healthychildren.org

Hugs!

Happy New Year! Sets the stage for all of us to look both forward and reflect on years past.  My focus today is to define those things we must learn to live by in the “now”.  Leo Tolstoy writes “Do not do anything, either among others or alone, which is opposed by your conscience.” Most of my articles have addressed the people we are and the people we want our children to become. A friend sent me an email of four things we cannot recover which, I feel, fit in appropriately with having a Happy New Year!.  Four things we cannot recover are:

The stone…….after the throw!

The word…….after it is said!

The occasion……after the loss!

The time…….after it is gone!

Going forward into the New Year and beyond, remembering what we cannot recover, especially with our children, gives us plenty to contemplate and aspire to.  My interpretation of the four non-recoverable aspects of our lives as it pertains to our families are:

The stone, once thrown, symbolizes today with our children, make the best of what we don’t get back.

The word, once said, needs to be a kind and good word for our children to perpetuate.

The occasion, after the loss, represents those times we need help in deciding ‘should I or shouldn’t I go.”

The time, after it’s gone, helps us realize our time well spent is time with family- establishing cohesion and connection.

Following our conscience  and being aware of the four things we cannot recover, dilutes our feelings of being overwhelmed, anxious, fearful or doubtful, opening every door of opportunity empowering us to empower our children to follow their conscience.  When we practice just one of these unrecoverable acts one at a time per week, until, by osmosis, they become integral parts of our lives, we will accomplish the Happiest of New Year’s.  From the Kapsalis and Miller families, we send you Hugs and Happy New Year Blessings!

Spirituality is universal and lives within each of our heart.  Religions are territorial.   I’ve come to realize that religion is our teacher; how we live out our religion is our spirituality.  One definition of religion is to become a believer or join a religious organization, and, usually, start to lead a life that follows its teachings.  There’s nothing in the definition of religion that distinguishes our spirit (somebody or something that is a divine, inspiring, or animating influence).  It moves my spirit to recognize that we are one Universe connected through our heart. Our divine influence blessed us with a heart.  An organ that none of us could exist without, therefore a divine spiritual connection for all of us to share.    We are one Universe.  We are one spirit. The wonderment of all of our spiritual holidays begins with the love within us, from our first heartbeat.

We are taught a religion but without a heartbeat we cannot learn. We choose to live a religious life but without a heart we cannot choose.  It is not the intention of our divine influences to divide us, cause wars, pit one religion over another.  It is, as I believe, the intent to live amongst one another in peace, teaching our children to believe there comes a greater good from our spiritual influences and that fighting the forces of evil (notice the word evil in devil) as we know exists, is to place spirituality at a higher level for goodness to prevail.

In wishing you a Merry Christmas, I am sharing my heart and my spirit of peace and love with you above and beyond what my religion has taught me.  I believe we are of one God, one Universe, one heart, one spirit for justice, peace, freedom and love.  May your heart reflect the love, peace and joy of your religious teachings during this spiritual season and throughout the New Year! Merry Christmas!

 Hugs!